- Fost's Tomb III is suddenly open on the way to Hammerhands.
- During Hammerhands itself, Ramas and Dora say they plan to take three people each, but technically speaking, they just take two each counting themselves.
- If you visit Ashtran before visiting the Dark Elves and he tosses you out, once you come back, he's totally shocked that druid Myrth is in his tent, even though she contributed to the conversation before.
- Depending on when camp conversations happen, Loren will still discuss her search for Karen as being her number one priority, even after she's been rescued.
- Similarly, if you talk to Rei in camp on the Ember Blade path, before visiting the elves, you'll talk about Mesphit in a very familiar fashion despite the Hero not knowing him from Adam.
- One of Draco's conversations in the Ember Blade path has him fretting over Apolimesho suspecting his elven heritage, despite him being kinda outed by that point.
- And if you go up to the monastery after Hawk Blade, Loren says she wants to train again against Sauzer and his disciples, despite never having fought them once in the first place.
- During the Jul scene, Elanor at least mentions that she didn't think Loren had that kind of hunger, despite all the sporting with nymphs she engaged in during the Hawk Blade path.
- I'm not sure whether the Ember Blade and the Hawk Blade are supposed to look different or not, but playing through the Ember Blade path, the sword she held up after picking it up from the tomb was the one with the sort of V-shape to the hilt, and the sword she used in the knighting scene was the one with wings on the hilt that she also has in the fighting portrait when she's saving Draco from the goblins super early on. Perhaps I will just not think about it too hard from now on.
- If Rei makes an instant kill, the damage he deals will be listed as negative.
- Jul's necklace appears in stores occasionally, both before and after she's defeated. I guess she might just have a huge collection and lose them constantly, but it's weird seeing a stack of five of something I thought was a unique boss drop sort of thing.
- During Saren's first flirt with Loren, the line, "A man? Seduce me?" is listed as being said by Saren, not Loren.
- Also, there's some swapping back and forth between past and present tense at a few points, like the bit where Apolimesho opens the door of the tomb where they stashed the Ember Sword.
And then there's the typos! I am a relentless typo hound, despite being the worst offender in that particular field I've ever met. If I don't have spellcheck on, I am downright incoherent. Perhaps I have looked too deep into the abyys, and it has looked back into me.
In the hoosegow! "Loren looked suspicious of the old man, but she remained silent as she listened to how he began his explanation." That is a very cluttered sentence at the end. "...she remained silent as she listened to his explanation." or "...she remained silent as he began his explanation." would both work.
When Apolimesho hits him with the binding spell, Draco says, "Jumping Caterpillars!" I'm not sure if it's referencing something specific, or whether it's a general exclamation like, "Holy cow!" If it's the latter, capitalizing caterpillars isn't necessary.
"Loren approached the ancient relic cautiously, one hand reaching for the sword, her other still gripping her own very tightly." Swapping "her other" "the other" would make it flow better.
During one of Draco's romance dialogues - I think "Famous" - the narration "He snickered with pride." isn't clear on which one of 'em is snickering. I am guessing Draco but I am not 100% sure.
Re: Amukiki in the swamps: "Apolimesho did not seem surprised by abilities, but the rest of the party was in awe of him." by his abilities?
Still the swamps! "They clamored onto the island and recollected themselves." I think you're going for clambered. Unless they're doing so with an unusual amount of noise, which I would not rule out.
Apolimesho on Chambara: "If you only use dark magic, you must be locked away." The use of the word only implies that it's okay if you use dark magic as long as you can cast haste spells and set things on fire occasionally.
Lizard temple! They were almost guided through the empty hall by lit torches and sounds. That almost isn't necessary; that is exactly what seems to be guiding them.
Chambara: "You're about to walk into an Empire town and shot on sight." and be shot on sight?
I am not sure whether these were intentional. Saren's a slave; he can't have gotten that good an education. On the other hand, he's pretty articulate for most of the game and his old mistress probably made sure he got some lessons in talkin' proper. I could buy both of these, I'm just not sure whether I should be.
During a conversation with Loren I can't place (Furs, maybe?): "I'm sorry, that was very assumptive of me." I think in that context, it should be presumptive.
During a conversation with Draco I likewise can't place (Famous?): "No matter what happened in the past, you're a clean slate with us." You've a clean slate? Actually being the metaphorical slate is not a turn of that phrase I have run across before.
During the council at the start of chapter two! Saren: "These two men have not proved to be evil and worth killing, and I doubt the druid and her brother do, either." Do should be are.
Loren: "I will hear no more of this squabble! This war is your own faults!" Fault should be singular, but I kind of like the idea of Loren letting her grammar slip when frustrated.
Myrth: "So... if your magic is not mistaken, then only a demon could have organization these attacks." Organized?
Saren: "Your Highness, all preparation for departure have been made." So that's where the extra s in faults came from! She stole it from Saren's preparations. Clearly, no possession of a slave's is safe.
Draco's Lineage dialogue: "One of his ears slipped from its prison, but Draco didn't notice, too busying looking at everything that was not Saren." Hahahaha oh man this bit is so cute. Anyway, busying shouldn't have that ing in it.