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It's pronounced "five-ever", just like "four-ever".

I'm not sure the general age range here, but I'll just say that I hear it a lot as a high-schooler, and I'm not on the East Coast. I don't think there's an issue with it.

I could understand not knowing it if you're older and don't have a job that works around kids, but I don't see how you could think it's a typo. I'd keep it in.

Sparky wrote:Hi, I wrote the character routes for Nicole, so the person you'll want to hit up for questions or concerns is me! I didn't write the first scene (I actually rewrote it but I still need to send the coded part, which I'll do right now in case you want to add it, Jack...) but everything else is fair game. Minus place descriptions, which I can also go over for the final version.

Ah yes that would be useful, since I had to mess with it, also to introduce Chandra who otherwise isn't mentioned (even if isn't the yuri version, since she is Nicole's roommates should at least do a proper introduction).
And as the writer said:

Sparky wrote: I'll start by saying that the way Nicole talks and the word choices she makes is completely intentional. Not to say she misspells things on purpose, but if she uses a funny word, it's probably on purpose. I'm open to criticism, though. If anyone honestly thinks something can be improved (and have a founded reason to do so) I'm all ears.

I noticed myself too that she often says "strange words" but because of her personality, but anyway any questions about words, ask him

This has to be one of the best written otome games from WW!
But please... I can't wait until September, I want it sooner! Hurry plz

When do we get the yuri version? ^^

I've already found a writer for it, getting started now, so won't need to wait for the otome part to be finished

OK, I have to get it off my chest (hurrr): I dislike Nicole's cleavage. I find 'cleavage lines' look silly or forced, and regardless of the art style, that detail always makes me sigh. I guess I have an A-cup complex or something. Sorry! Other than that, the art is really good.

Well, pet peeves non withstanding, I liked the preview very much. The tone and art work together to really capture a youthful atmosphere, and I loved the colorful backgrounds. It is also very well written, flowing and easy to get into. Nicole is a very fun heroine, I like the way she talks (I chalked her up as a California girl from the get go), and how she handles herself. Very nice to see an otome game protagonist who can stand up for herself and isn't an emotional wreck.
And feminist everywhere forgive me, I liked Kurt alot. He's hilariously shameless. And that 'creepy crush on made up characters' was deliciously ironic.

Some suggestions and questions:

1) I would have liked the 'tutorials' (the gameplay notes in the text box) to either be a different color/font, or be outside the text box at all. I found it jarring and immersion breaking to move from narration and dialogue to instructions.
2) When choosing activities, the impact on stats is broken down like this: Amity (1, 2) and Enerygy (-8, - 10). That was confusing for me - is this the range, as in: 1 to 2, and -8 to -10? It's a bit unclear, although I guess after a few tries one can figure it out.
3) In the start of each day, you seem to get some random stats improvement. Is that truly random? Also, the text box says 'restores energy/morale after each night of sleep' and 'a message at the beginning of each day, could be news about the abduction or other'. Both those lines sounds more like design notes than tutorials. The first line could simply be 'sleep restores energy/morale' and the second... Well, I don't really know what it means, so.
4) Regarding stats: I am a bit confused to their influence on the game. The 'Clues' one obviously corresponds to the mystery, but the others? Do they unlock events and/or more options? Do they affect your interactions with the guys?
5) Speaking of the mystery, will reaching a certain level of the 'Clues' stat unlock more information, or does it depends on the activities you choose? It would be nice if after choosing an activity like 'Search through old newspapers' you will get an event about finding an article related to the mystery. Or are the event scripted by the date?

Heh, it ended up being lengthier than I meant. Consider it a sign of my passion for the game, I really can't wait!

Jackrabbit wrote:OK, I have to get it off my chest (hurrr): I dislike Nicole's cleavage. I find 'cleavage lines' look silly or forced, and regardless of the art style, that detail always makes me sigh. I guess I have an A-cup complex or something. Sorry! Other than that, the art is really good.

While is noticeable, personally I don't think is too much... I left complete freedom to the artist (which is a female), only told her that since the game takes place in a warm place (Florida) the clothes should reflect that. Maybe she exaggerated a bit

About your suggestions:
1) yes absolutely, that was a quick text I put at last minute before making the preview, since I realized there was no tutorial otherwise! I'll do a better thing now
2) I'm considering changing that too. The negative values are because is a negative range, so in your example you got it right. But is not very intuitive, so I'll change that, maybe just using symbols/icons, or another style
3) yes they're design notes the amount you recover is random depending on the difficulty levels (a random range of course). I plan to add some more details and maybe allow to buy some sleeping pills to sleep well (or maybe some relaxing infusion, since sleeping pills doesn't sound really good lol)
4) as it happens in dating sim, to win each guy you need a stat. In this case you need two values, like Amity 500 and Wit 250 for one character. Which ones? I'll let you discover it... (no I'm joking, will make a walkthrough here once the game is done). The first scenes for all boys play, then to progress in the story you need to raise the relationship with the boys. To reach the final event (which unlocks romance) beside the relationship you'll also need the right stats. Sounds complex but is like all the other dating sim (like my previous ones too).
5) I haven't started the mystery part, but I think you'll get a mystery scene every XX amount of the clue indicators. They could be related to the activities, or something different

jack1974 wrote: 4) as it happens in dating sim, to win each guy you need a stat. In this case you need two values, like Amity 500 and Wit 250 for one character. Which ones? I'll let you discover it... (no I'm joking, will make a walkthrough here once the game is done). The first scenes for all boys play, then to progress in the story you need to raise the relationship with the boys. To reach the final event (which unlocks romance) beside the relationship you'll also need the right stats. Sounds complex but is like all the other dating sim (like my previous ones too).
:

I hope that, as with Ted, we'll get a hint which stat is most important for each guy. I had to think a bit to explain to myself the difference in diligence and zeal (I know those are different traits, but both are basically motivators, so I had to try and imagine how each will manifest itself in a character), and I had to reach for a dictionary for amity ^^;

I like stat-raising games as a rule, but the problem is that the required amount is arbitrary, so there's no way to know if you're doing well or not. So I hope stat progression will unlock activities/scenes, to let you know you're getting somewhere and not on the wrong track entirely.

And I like how you get to see a different side of Nicole with each guy. It really makes her feel as a solid character, rather than a stereotype. Plus, her dialogue is very amusing.

Yes perhaps will introduce some indications of your progress (similarly as what I already do in the end of day screen with the relationship percentage of each boy). I am never sure what to do in such cases, because on one side some players like to discover, while others want to know the values. I guess I could tie it to the difficulty levels, since I assume that Easy/Normal would want to know more
Glad you liked the writing!

The writing is great, but at this point is it even necessary to say

But even if you don't include which boy likes which stat in the game, (which I agree is not necessary something I want to know) I will definitly want to know if I have to go for 1, 2, 3 stats. I have a vague dream that the clues stat was explained (or maybe I just read it in the forum), but I definitly want a clue to how thin I need to spread.

Just something like. Reach a minimum of X of the favorite and Y of the second favorite to unlock the romance scenes. Or just some kind fo tutorial for how the stats work.

Eventually you could have the option at the start of the game to turn a tutorial on/off.