The nitpicking thread

[fabulaparva]

Various typos etc that I spotted during Act 4 (this list is not all inclusive, I'm afraid )

Spoiler:

When Chalassa is used as a decoy to lure out the Minotaur
Chalassa: Oh, let's hope nobody is following me! I'm just a innocent harmless girl!
'an'

After the Minotaur-fight, if you choose to pull out the horns:
Rowinda: Well, anyway, I just used a little magic to loosen them up and they they popped right out like...
Is she excited enough to repeat the word or should it be 'then they' or just one 'they'?

While brewing the potion:
Main Twin: Is it supposed to be turning that poo-green color?
Should this be: ...'to be turning into that poo-green...' ?


At the Dingirran merchant camp just before the gnolls:
Vaelis: Thanks, we'll talke a look then.
'take'

When the heroes meet up with Daronas, he tells them about the 3 kinds of trouble around:
Jariel: Theee?
'Three?'

When they finally find Shagala:
Other Twin: You're up in a tree!
Nothing weird there, but you'd expect Shagala to reply to that, not Daronas...
Daronas: I know! Someone get me a ladder, or something!

******
Hopefully the last facial expression I'll ever nitpick about, but I think this is weird enough to be noted. After the heroes

Spoiler:

meet up with Daronas, who's desperately trying to find his men and Shagala and he describes all the beasts roaming around... he keeps his happy face on the whole time. Totally suspicious. I think he's really a demon.

[jack1974]

Thanks will check them, also Daronas demon-face

[Franka]

Right, here's what I've got for Act IV:

Spoiler:

Since when you're an alchemist?
should be "Since when are you an alchemist?"

Err... yes, what they have to do with alchemy?
should be "what do they have to do with"

He's obviously not asleep if he just roared! Let's follow Vaelis's advice and avoid him.
should be "Vaelis' advice"

Go set up camp and then I get working on those spells.
should be "I'll get working"

Well, first I have to wait for it dry and harden, then I can sew it.
should be "wait for it to dry and harden,"

But they underestimated the gnoll's strength and lost many men in the process.
One of the conditions is to allow the gnoll's to enforce their tax.
both should be "gnolls' "

They're the ones who live underground and guard tresaure, right?
should be "treasure"

We are clearly outnumbered and would suffer severe damages in a fight.
should be "severe damage"

All Dingirrans are slavers and they pass through the toll every day.
"pass through every day" or "pass through the Pass every day" or "pay the toll to pass every day"

Is it because that any violence towards humans instigated by the gnolls is a violation of the peace treaty with the Empire?
should be "Is it because any violence"

Then, if you forgive my curiosity, why didn't we just travel by ship?
should be "if you'll forgive"

Unfortunately, we've also found footprints of the beasts in this area. So we fear for the worst.
should be "So we fear the worst."

I know Shagala - if she has her mind set on finding something, she's taking any risks, despite her age.
should be "she'll take any risks,"

I climbed! Did you think I'd grow wings and fly?
should be "Did you think I grew wings and flew?"

But... how do put this... we weren't very successful.
should be "how to put this..."

We've been mostly living from what we still had from last year, and from what little we could find in the south.
should be "living of what we still had"

A few of them know and use dark magic, yes, but I don't see what profit they'd be making of this.
should be "making from this."

Yes, is true...
should be "it's true..."

They certainly have ways of getting their fingers on such creatures.
I'd say "get their hands on"

No - I never encountered something even remotely like this.
should be "encountered anything"

But now that you mention it... we should already be far past the boulders. But haven't seen them all.
either "boulders, but haven't" or "But we haven't"

Because no one will be hunting you any more, o Old One. You are now safe.
should be "oh, Old One."

Have lived here for long time. And there has never been anything but peace between the forest and them.
maybe "They've lived here for a long time, and there has"

I really can't imagine Rowinda fitting into anywhere.
I can't either, but I think you mean "Rowinda fitting in anywhere."

and finally....
That ain't "raven-black" hair.

[fabulaparva]

To add to that list, a couple more mixed up pronouns on Auris:

Spoiler:

If you choose to Help the "Ambushed Man" you get options on trying to talk yourself out of fighting. The last option is:
"Tell him we are all former slaves."

If you pick the right option to Ask why they are ambushing people, you get to the point where Auris evaluates Riley and Shea (Other twin) says:
"Riley, don't anger him!"

[Troyen]

All the gems remain the only items not capitalized.

BroadSword should just be Broadsword.

[Troyen]

Jariel's skills:
Rhythm of Speed: Increases all party members speed... should be members' (apostrophe)
Chant of Resurrection: Restores 25% of target's total HPs and resurrect him... move the s from "HP" to "resurrects". (Aside: I think everywhere you say "total HP" you mean "maximum HP")
Vigorous Sonata: You may want to rewrite the first two sentences of this description to something like "All characters regenerate SP for 10 turns. The regeneration amount is 5 SP/turn while below 20% of total SP and 3 SP/turn otherwise." (Also, adding a space between "5" and "HP/turn" and "3" and "HP/turn" would make it consistent with Energize's "10 HP/SP" description.)
Rhythm of Restoration: add a ' to "members" -> members'
Shieldwall Serenade: add a ' to "members" -> members'
Also, you use "defence" here (the British spelling) but "defense" (the American spelling) on the Attributes page and on items. Consistency!
Song of Purity: "...from a single ally"
Also, all the effects you list out aren't capitalized, but they are for the other skill and attribute descriptions.
Furthermore, "any negative condition" isn't quite true because it doesn't cleanse Madness or Staggered. (Unless this changed recently?) If all the conditions listed are the only ones that get removed, you can drop the "etc" and say "most negative conditions".

Riley's skills:
Slumber: should be "on a single enemy" and "target's" (add 's)
Magic Sparks: should be "50% of the damage."
Mana Burn: should be "Hits a single target..." and "...if it is a boss enemy."
Ghost Form: I think this is supposed to be "incorporeal" according to my dictionary. I don't think "uncorporeal" is a word.
Energy Transfer: You can drop the "This skill" to match the other skills. I think it also reads better as "...amount to the target."
Shadow of Death: Maybe this is written in British English? Otherwise, I think this is supposed to be "illusory" instead of "illusionary".
Magic Chains: Same comment on "illusory" vs "illusionary". Also, this is using the exact same icon as Shadow of Death.
Shake: need "a" before "target"
Mirror Damage: Uses "Illusionary magic" but Shake uses "Illusory magic". Also, add "the" before "attacker" and "target".

Chalassa:
Disabling Shot: should say "...has a 50% chance..." (add "a" and drop the "s")
Bleeding Strike: "Hits a single target..."
No Chances: The second "all" is redundant. "...hitting them and inflicting..."

Rowinda:
Syphon Life: "of a single target's"
Soulbound: "from a single staggered"
Life Channel: add a comma after members?
Anathema: "to a single target"
Lightning Strike: "hits a target for 250%..."


I'm out of battery power, so I'll have to stop there.

[jack1974]

Thanks, will include them on the next update, since I have already done the 0.9.6

[Troyen]

Also fix Rowinda's Raise Dead:
Drop the s on HP.
"permanently reduces their speed"

[Troyen]

Visual nitpick. Althea seems way too calm...

Spoiler:

...when trying to convince Leif Erikson that his way of honor sucks. She has a couple expressions, but lots of exclamations accompanying her impassive face while Rowinda and Leif look like they're shouting. As an example, take the line "Warrior's honor is what made Krimm do all those terrible things!"

[fabulaparva]

Typos, grammar issues and language suggestions for maps in acts 1&2. Some of these typos have probably been pointed out earlier, but I guess they must've gotten lost in the bug and testing mayhem because dey B still dere.

Act1:
***
After taking the pelts to Laroneas, if you try to dilly-dally:
"We better hurry back to father with the money. Is getting late."
Should be: 'It's getting late."

Graveyard
"Ninim's graveyard. My father used to tell me that is a dangerous place at night."
Problem with the first bit..somehow makes it sound as if their father is dead, plus there's a tense mismatch. Overall suggestion:
"Ninim's graveyard. Our father has warned us that this is a dangerous place at night."

East of Ninim:
Battle
"A group of snow spiders. A very tough challenge, even if their poison glands are very valuable."
'even if' sounds wrong in this context, imo. Suggestion:
'A group of snow spiders: a tough but lucrative challenge as their poison glands are very valuable.'
***

Act2
Mini-scene when you click the green arrow at south gate:
Riley: Is the main entrance ...
Should be 'It's the main entrance..."

Sewers, Arrow at the Ant Queen:
Movement
"The noise grows bigger! We are close to the Queen.."
Suggestion: 'The noise grows louder!'

After clearing the sewers, Neutral zone:
Sewers Entrance
"It's not the most inviting place, but is the only way..."
'it's'

Krimm's Quest, Search Map:
Fresh Tracks
"One of your scout spotted something here."
Should be in plural: 'scouts' .


Kiduu-family quest, Iron Hall-
When you take the "long route" and make a choice on how to open the doors (I think there are 2 locations where this happens), you get a mini-scene:
Vaelis: Those gates seems solid....
Should be 'seem'
Chalassa: They have a lock. I can lockpick them, but might take a while.
Suggestion for a shorter version:
Chalassa: I can pick the lock, but it might take a while.

Arrow at Big John:
Sleeping Guard
"There's a sleeping guard here. He looks very strong, but we don't need to fight him this time."
Given the context, the conjunction 'but' doesn't make sense, imho. Suggestion:
'A strong-looking guard has fallen asleep here. There's no need for a fight unless we'll wake him up...'


Choosing a protector for Robinia:
"Choose one of your party member that ...."
Should be 'one of your party members who'
General suggestion for the whole info box:
'Choose one of your party members for Robinia's personal protection. Be careful: if that person falls in battle, Robinia will die and you will fail this quest!'


#CRASH#
...... seriously, I typed more (steam tunnels and Chalassa's quest maps have some errors ... after this and while I was doing that, I got kicked out of the forum and it was all gone. -.- I'm seriously borked now.