computer games forum

OK will do!

The description for Threshold could use some tweaking, which could also drop it to four lines from five. Maybe something like:
"Threshold represents a character's stability. Each hit taken increases a counter. If the counter reaches the threshold level, the character will become Staggered for several turns and suffer a penalty to Attack, Defense, and Speed."

Actually, everywhere you say "is a numerical representation of the character's", you could more simply say "represents the character's", since we can see it's a number. That means Attack, Defense, Speed, Magic, and Threshold.

On the Magic description, I think you need to change "spells" -> "spell" (for "spell effectiveness").

Act 2, end of Chapter 5, Riley has a line:
"I solemnly swear...I certainly won't fight alongside with that Krimm person!" - I think the "with" is unnecessary.

During the Krimm fight prelude with Amaikuki:
"Esteemed ladies and sirs, both noble and common" <- add the comma.

Troyen wrote:During the Krimm fight prelude with Amaikuki:
"Esteemed ladies and sirs, both noble and common" <- add the comma.

I object to that comma. It suggest a pause in the announcer's speech where there is none.

I'm trying to imagine how it would be read without a pause there, since it's an adjective clause. Besides, don't you have a pause after "ladies and gents" (or whatever the exact words are - I'm mid-boss battle so I can't check) a couple lines later?

I would have suggested that comma myself if I thought the language of this game in such good state that we could bicker over those, but now that Taleweaver says it I can see the sentence working fine either way.

Beginning of Merrow's Men quest:

The thing is, when we get to the island, there's smoke rising from both volcanos, so they aren't exactly inactive.

fabulaparva wrote:Beginning of Merrow's Men quest:

The thing is, when we get to the island, there's smoke rising from both volcanos, so they aren't exactly inactive.

That probably depends on your definition of "inactive". Maybe "dormant" would be a better word?

Yes the smoke was added by artist but I want to keep it since is cool

My issue with both inactive and dormant is that those, I believe, would be used on volcanos not showing any signs of current activity. So, if Merrow markets them as sleeping, then I'd assume one of the crew members would complain about them smoking once they approach the island (or Rowinda getting all excited about it). Would it hurt much to drop the "-inactive volcanos, fortunately-" part altogether? Or would that cause other inconsistencies in the dialogue later?

In addition to this, I have another smoke-nitpick: there's a point where Chalassa speaks about smoke signal coming from the pass and Rowinda asks, "Smoke? From the volcanos?" which seemed a bit silly as there already is smoke arising from them.

But yeah, the animation is really cool so no way I'm suggesting removing that now that I've seen it.