Heirs & Graces 0.8.5 beta

A fantasy yaoi dating sim set in the world of Aravorn https://www.winterwolves.com/heirsandgraces.htm
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ChaosMorning
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by ChaosMorning »

Okay, so I got decorum related scene and it worked fine, but Eloy's romantic scene still doesn't trigger.
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jack1974
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by jack1974 »

You mean the final scene? do you have 100% relationship with him and Reputation >=90 ?
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ChaosMorning
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by ChaosMorning »

I think so? I had 101 Reputation and triggered 10 scenes for him. I'll see about raising his meter - maybe I didn't get 100% or something?
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jack1974
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by jack1974 »

Yes I think so, since I tested all the final endings, so I think should work. In the last stages if you do the activity that raises relationship you should get to 100% faster :)
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SimonStardust
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by SimonStardust »

Right now I'm more or less halfway through the game and I think it's time for me to report some typos and other mistakes I found. Can't say much about grammar though, because I'm no native speaker.
Spoiler:
General things first I guess:

While I grew really attached to Kamal ruffling Marcel's hair once and awhile I found it not quite fitting for Eloy to do so. Maybe because I found it to be... well... simply a Kamal-thing. XD Same goes for other gestures like striking the chin while thinking. Some characters may do this, others will show that they are thinking otherwise. Well... maybe it's just me being a bit nitpicky, but in my opinion gestures should be part of personality, too. Especially when they are repeated that noticeably often.
Quite similar it stroke me when Borges said »yeah« when he also just could have said »yes« or sth similar. While the word didn't disturb me when used by Marcel or Kamal, I found it not to be fitting for Borges' personality. But again – it's only my opinion. Others my be just fine with it the way it is.

Well, now on to the more specific mistakes I found so far:

- I found several colons followed by a lower case letter. I'm not quite sure if English language has its own rules for the use of colons, but usually they should be followed by an upper case letter. (I'm sorry for not quoting the exact sentences here – I found way too many and decided to treat it as a single subitem.)

- In the scene where Borges is first introduced... it displays his name although we don't even know it yet. Should be »???« instead during half of the scene.

- Same scene as above:
»It echos in my brain and an unreal floating sensation flows through my body.«

echos → echoes

- When Marcel comes to Lord Sandor's aid while he has his coughing fit, Marcel is still displayed with the bread and water in his hands. Found it to be a little bit odd.

- The scene where Marcel and Kamal are searching for information on flowers in the library:
»Kamal stays put and we look at them together instead of seperately
seperately → separately
»That's undisputed King of Aarvorn, Marcel the highly esteemed to you.«

Aarvorn → Aravorn (obviously xD)

- The scene where Vincent and Borges are having their dispute:
»Without a named heir its impossible to know what will happen to his job when Lord Sandor does die.«

its → it's

- Dining scene with Lord Sandor and Eloy:
»Vincent starts going over what I'll have to do a server.«
Don't really know if I just lack knowledge on the English language or if this is indeed a mistake, but I think it should be »to do as a server.«

- Second scene where Marcel visits Lord Sandor in his room:
»That's probaby a good thing.«
probaby → probably
»It takes a bit of manuvering, but I manage to open the door.«
manuvering → maneuvering

- Scene with Eloy in the library:
»You can't tell me you that if I offered you a choice between two books of different genres you'd just pick randomly.«
Just »You can't tell me that if I...« without the second »you.«

- Scene with Eloy and the broken vase:
»His face is mere inches away from mine now and for the first time I start to wonder if I should really be doing ths
ths → this

- When Marcel asks Borges about the things he read in that medicine book:
»If I have a choice, I'd rather him not be dead I guess.«
Again I'm not sure if it's possible to phrase it that way, but I'd say there is a verb like »have«missing. The correct sentence being: »..., I'd rather have him not be dead.«
»I admire your enthusiasm but, If it's alright with you, I'd prefer it if we did this one question at a time.«
If → if

- At the market when Marcel and Licia detect Borges and Rene meeting, Licia is stammering a couple of times. While it may not be a mistake per se, it sounds odd to me to stammer like this: »S-she«, »T-then.« More naturally I'd write: »Sh-she« and »Th-then.« But I guess it's personal taste.

- Same scene:
»It's pretty worn down and there are several bookmarks hidden away between it's pages.«
it's → its

- Kamal giving Marcel first lectures about fighting:
»So, I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't rely soley on your skills as a warrior.«
soley → solely
Also... »environment« was written a few times as »enviorment« during this scene.

- Eloy talking about Grandtree with Marcel:
»From his description I mainly get a sense of lonliness
lonliness → loneliness

- When Borges treats Lord Sandor with the naga potion:
»I know I shouldn't care, but I'm wondering what exactly is so bad about me being Borges' assitant
assitant → assistant
»The potions effects last for another thirty minutes or so before Lord Sandor is finally able to rest.«
potions → potion's

- Marcel teaching Vincent how to cook potato soup:
»I probably should have taken an extra minute to take care of my appearence
appearence → appearance
»...Its no good then?«
Its → It's

- When Licia and Rene make up stories about Marcel's ring:
»Maybe Vincent hired Marcel to assasinate a troublesome noble that was bothering Lord Sandor!«
assasinate → assassinate
»What is important is that you took the time to pick something out for specifically for me.«

One »for« will do in this sentence. ^^
»You could have just picked up a random book and I would have liked it, but it honestly it wouldn't have been that memorable.«
Same thing. One »it« after the »but« is enough. ^^

- Kamal telling Marcel about his past in the Dingirra arena:
»I decided that I needed to see what I could learn from the fighters in the Dingirra before I went looking for my rematch.«
After »Dingirra« there should be an »arena« I guess. Or cancel the »the« in front of »Dingirra.«
»Because that wasn't going to well for you earlier.«
to → too

- Tea scene with Lady Rosalynn and Eloy in the garden:
»If there is one thing I like about Lady Rosalynn, it's her ability to drive out guests intent on overstaying their welcome.«
Not quite sure (found the sentence to be difficult), but I think »guests« should be »guests'« instead.
»In fact, I'm fairly certain they've told everyone that I'm attempting a century journey to give the appearence that I'm actually doing something worthwhile with my time.«
appearence → appearance
»Lord Shiraan crosses his arms, trying not to look to displeased.«
to → too
»For someone who just slung blatant insults, she seems awfully surprised that Lord Shiraan returning the favor.«

I guess »...awfully surprised that Lord Shiraan is returning the favor« would be more correct.
»For instance, I seem to recall hearing how insitant your family was in pressuring Lord Sandor to abandon the woman he loved when she was pregnant with his child.«
insitant → insistent

- When Vincent is visiting ill Marcel:
»Vincent tired expression darkens a bit as if he's reimagining several horrors.«
Vincent → Vincent's
»I did burn my toungue a little.«
toungue → tongue
»Of course, you didn't seem to eager to get up early the last time I got you up to cook something.«
to → too
»Of course, when i said every once and awhile, I meant it.«
i → I

- Preparations for the servants' party:
»I'm sure you're a natural.«
I don't exactly know what Licia meant to say with that sentence. Either it's a way to refer to what she said earlier or there is simply a word missing.

Well... that's it for now. Will be back when I have found more typos. Trying not to miss a single one. xD
Beware! Peerons ahead! xD
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jack1974
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by jack1974 »

Thanks for the feedback. I'll check typos, about the grammar/English stuff I'll let the writer decide what to do (I surely can't judge myself if it's correct or not! :lol:)
SilverHyena
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by SilverHyena »

Thanks for all the feedback guys! It's super helpful.

And Jack, all of SimonStardust's corrections are fine. A few of the grammar suggestions work either way so it's fine to just switch them over to Simon's suggestions. (And oh my gosh, sorry for so many typos and misspellings... I know they're bound to happen, but still... :shock: Thanks for catching them, SimonStardust!)

I have work later today, but after that I have the next two days off so I'll look into the other stuff. I'll definitely look over the gesture thing. I did actually mean to make the ruffling hair thing a Kamal exclusive. I'll see what alternatives I can find for the other characters. I'll also look into the yeah thing. I didn't realize I had that tendency. :P If you guys have any specific examples where it's super jarring feel free to share them. It'd help me out.
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fabulaparva
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by fabulaparva »

Finished my first playthrough where I tried to be a jack-of-all-trades, aka played everything without the walkthrough just to see where it'd get me. (30 and above on all skills, reputation 82 -- so I didn't get the good Reputation NOR the Bad Reputation achievement --I did get the Casanova badge, though!!! :P)

I see that SimonStardust caught most of the typos I saw, too. I don't have anything to add at this point to his list, but I'll keep my eyes open later. I agree with the hair-ruffling thing as I'm so tired of seeing everyone ruffling the heroine's heir in localized otome games --it's a miracle my japanese heroines are not bald already! I really would only have Kamal do that as it does fit him, but immediately feels overused if the others (eg Eloy) do it, too.

This is obviously more of a gameplay issue than actual story issue, but if you play as I did, doing a little bit of that and a little bit of this activity, you'll end up having Marcel to be someone who completely plays every love interest in the game while being absolutely unaware of it himself! Spoilers ensue...
Spoiler:
I found this somewhat confusing as he is going into deep thoughts and possessing about Vincent's ring and then a few days later is considering running off to Borges to be his assistant and getting all upset about the charade with Borges' father and Rene. He also pranced through multiple kissing scenes towards the end (Kamal, Eloy & Vincent) and I was thoroughly weirded out how Marcel seemed to have no recollection in him how he had just been locking lips with someone else just a few days before...and with all the internal dialogue he had earlier seemingly forgotten as if had never existed. So basically I was at a point where Kamal had kissed Marcel, Marcel had kissed Eloy and Eloy had kissed Marcel and then Marcel kissed Vincent...and after all this there's a very downplayed and civil jealousy scene where Kamal asks Marcel how he feels about Vincent and him...but the whole Eloy-steaminess never gets addressed..

Gawddamn he EARNED that Casanova-badge!! :P :P

I'm not sure how this could be made to seem more realistic, so that Marcel wouldn't look like he has some sort of disassociation syndrome. Maybe the jealousy scenes might trigger earlier? It seemed as if the relationship scenes were more dependent on Marcel's skill stats and activities than on the actual relationship percentages, as Marcel's highest relationship was with Kamal 70-something% and only in the 40-50-something% with Vincent and Eloy and yet I got to scene number ten both with Vincent and Eloy.
Anyway, I haven't found any major bugs yet. Near the end there's a small graphical bug: when all the chars are lining up for goodbyes Kamal stays on the screen after the text tells that he backed off. I can send a savegame later if you need/want one?

More feedback coming later this week. :)
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jack1974
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by jack1974 »

fabulaparva wrote:Finished my first playthrough where I tried to be a jack-of-all-trades, aka played everything without the walkthrough just to see where it'd get me. (30 and above on all skills, reputation 82 -- so I didn't get the good Reputation NOR the Bad Reputation achievement --I did get the Casanova badge, though!!! :P)
Haha well the game shouldn't allow you to go much far trying to be jack-of-all-trades or romancing several characters.
fabulaparva wrote:I'm so tired of seeing everyone ruffling the heroine's heir in localized otome games --it's a miracle my japanese heroines are not bald already!
Haha I laughed hard reading this sentence! :lol:

Regarding your observations, I agree that is better to move the jealousy scenes sooner. I'll do that, since the routes weren't written as you could romance more than one people for too long :)

Edit: I think I know the issue, the jealousy were triggering based on the relationships: however as you played, you could have one at 70% and another at 45-50%, and still reach a high scene (like scene 8-9 or more). So on next update, I am triggering the relationships based on the scene number: after the third scene with each character, the jealousy will trigger. I think this way many of your end-game issues should be solved :)
Foelhe
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Re: Heirs & Graces 0.8.1 beta

Post by Foelhe »

Has anyone managed to get the Skillful achievement yet? I think I should have unlocked it on my last playthrough, but no dice. Then again, I might have just missed a check somewhere.
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