The nitpicking thread

[yayswords]

You break immersion less if you don't use the characters to speak to the player. Characters talk to themselves, to each other, and perhaps in Rowinda's case to rocks. Sure Riley can be up in arms about how amazing the potion is, but I don't wanna see him say it's 20%/turn. Just use the "narrator" for that.

I think the families are quite generous with letting me take the rest of the day off and offering to sell me these amazing items, when Riley or Chalassa set the expectation that they would kill us when they couldn't have us anymore. The ruthlessness isn't shining through.

[jack1974]

Yes I sent the text to be checked to another writer, Erin (the same who helped me to fix the Gamesh drug quest). So she should be able to fix the immersion thing too. Otherwise I'll do as you say

[gamesempie]

And the suffixes, a bit more down to feeling and opinion here, but I think a lot of them would sound better with a "the" added or in plural form. And generally I think the verbs should be nouns.
of Inferno -> of the Inferno or of Infernos
of Blaze -> of the Blaze or of Blazes
of Freeze -> of Frost
of Underwater -> Think this one is better ditched than fixed. How about "of Rain" instead?
of Flying -> of Flight
of Cyclone -> of the Cyclone or of Cyclones (this one made me request the list )
of Savage -> of Savagery, if anything, but it still makes me think RAWR KRIMM +ATTACK and not earth resistance. Maybe... "of Stones"?

I can't agree with you about always adding "the" to the suffix. Yes, it's more grammatically correct to do it the way you suggested, but for me "Great Sword of Blaze" sounds more epic then "Great Sword of the Blaze". In my humble opinion weapon names should be as short and powerful as possible. But, as you said its all opinionated so there's my two cents worth.

[nightshadengale]

And the suffixes, a bit more down to feeling and opinion here, but I think a lot of them would sound better with a "the" added or in plural form. And generally I think the verbs should be nouns.
of Inferno -> of the Inferno or of Infernos
of Blaze -> of the Blaze or of Blazes
of Freeze -> of Frost
of Underwater -> Think this one is better ditched than fixed. How about "of Rain" instead?
of Flying -> of Flight
of Cyclone -> of the Cyclone or of Cyclones (this one made me request the list )
of Savage -> of Savagery, if anything, but it still makes me think RAWR KRIMM +ATTACK and not earth resistance. Maybe... "of Stones"?

I can't agree with you about always adding "the" to the suffix. Yes, it's more grammatically correct to do it the way you suggested, but for me "Great Sword of Blaze" sounds more epic then "Great Sword of the Blaze". In my humble opinion weapon names should be as short and powerful as possible. But, as you said its all opinionated so there's my two cents worth.

I have to agree with yayswords on this. "Great Sword of Blaze" just sounds like bad English to me--I don't get any epic vibes.

Unrelated note--Jack, can you change "Rusty" to "Weathered" or something so we don't end up with tons of "Rusty Leather ___" in the first act?

[jack1974]

Unrelated note--Jack, can you change "Rusty" to "Weathered" or something so we don't end up with tons of "Rusty Leather ___" in the first act?

Ah yes some more generic term. Rusty Leather is not normal will change it!

[yayswords]

Yeah while we're on that, fine steel on mage gear doesn't rhyme too well either

[jack1974]

Ah yes. Synonym please! I can't bother to check what gear it is

[yayswords]

On short notice I came up with distinguished, remarkable and conspicuous. None of them feel like a perfect fit though.

[jack1974]

What about: precious, delicate, smooth, special? well is just a word anyway

[yayswords]

I like precious. Don't use smooth for anything please

(Although precious sounds like a higher rarity level)