Today is Shiori’s turn to be introduced! But before that, two things:
- The new beta for Dead But Alive is ready, with Mike and Carl romance added. For more information check this forum thread: http://www.winterwolves.net/viewtopic.php?f=46&t=3668
- I wanted to announce a special “End Of August” sale I’m doing, with discounts from 25% for Seasons Of The Wolf and its DLC, and 50% for the remaining games.
For technical reason this time the discount is not automatic, but you’ll have to use coupon codes during checkout:
CVOU000I1 to get the 25% discount for Seasons Of The Wolf and Bad Blood DLC
CVOT001A6 to get the 50% discount on all other gamesAs the name says, the promo sale will run until the 31st of August!
And now, let’s proceed with Shiori’s intro by the writer:
Shiori is a Japanese woman in her mid twenties, and someone who has had a rather interesting life. Though much of those “interesting” parts involves things in her youth that she’d prefer never happened, her current life is very much to her liking. Thanks to a fairly large inheritance and some success in her photography career, she is able to indulge in her hobbies and travel frequently. And her most recent travels have taken her to Trigue for an extended stay.
Shiori can be a bit sarcastic and blunt at times. She is fluent in Japanese, English, and French, and takes great pleasure in the fact that she knows insults and curses in multiple languages. Indeed, she specifically learned just the insults and curses of seven additional languages. She is quick to speak her mind when provoked and has no qualms with being incredibly harsh when she feels it is deserved, but she is also usually willing to forgive and give someone a second chance. Or even a third chance, or a forth chance. This willingness to forgive has gotten her in trouble before, but she still tries to practice it.
She is very competitive, and loves playing games against other people. She favors video games for this, but also loves card games and board games. Regardless of format, such games sometimes give her a chance to try out her many foreign curse words. Another interest of hers is food and cooking, but since she is a fairly skilled cook, this one does not
result in her trying out new curse words. Well, not usually.
Shiori is very found of animals, though her frequent travel interferes with her ability to have pets. She especially likes birds, and finds crows and ravens in particular to be beautiful, intelligent creatures that she feels have an undeserved bad reputation. Part of her reason for going to Trigue is she hoped to observe a species of crow native to the island.
I like this character in particular because she has some secret hidden, related to her past. You’ll need to wait for the final game to know what is it! 😉
I’m a little worried to see spelling errors in these introductions, but then I’m a nitpicky sort of person…
Well they were written quickly by writer, not really checked 🙂
What are the errors by the way ?
There are no spelling errors in the introduction. I ran the entire thing through Spellcheck.net, English (US), and there were none, except for “Shiori” and “Trigue”. But those two words aren’t “English” per se.
I noticed Franka likes being purposefully critical for sometime now. Oh dear, Jack, you’ve got a visit from the Grinch from hell! 😀
Damn, I missed an excuse to whip the writer then! 😉 (joking of course)
There there now, there`s definatly still -some- need for proofreading ,not having spent a lot of time reading these texts, I could give at least a couple examples?
“Shiori is very found of animals,”
Might want to remove the letter U?
“though her frequent travel interferes with her ability to have pets”
…perhaps it might`ve meant “though her frequent travels (or travelling) interfere with her ability to have (or keep) pets.
It`s well written, and better than I`d do if forced to write with a deadline.
Having reliable people proofread all your projects is a good idea (and I`m guessing you find stuff during beta periods too …….=> Why you should -totally- open up for Nicole beta now :D)
Yes indeed during beta people find many typos/mistakes 🙂
Haha nice try about Nicole 😀 once the main story is completely written and scripted (there’s also that to do and requires time) I could open the beta even with the missing CGs though.
Ok, they’re typos. “Forth chance”, “found of animals”.
I’m an extremely critical person, even more so when it comes to myself.
“They’re” – “There are”, Just like Alex’s (Post up above) “definatly” – “definitely”. See why the writer “made” those mistakes? The same reason you and Alex did.
Being extremely critical isn’t a fundamental human right. Feel free to do it to yourself, but it’s a different matter towards someone else. And if someone did right, that is a right, and if someone did wrong, that is wrong. Ignoring the right in favor of the wrong, or vice versa, by being adamantly negative or positive, is intellectually dishonest, in my opinion.
Jack is good about things as always, so a grand kudos to him!
No, “they’re” as in “they are” – “Ok, they are typos, not spelling errors.”
Anyway, if we’re turning this into an argument, I believe (fundamentally even) that critique is more valuable than praise. Which is not to say that I am unable to give praise. I have certainly done so on the Winter Wolves forums. Possibly not lately, so you may have missed it. I expect I shall have praise when the game comes out (after I’m done picking typos apart).
I certainly admit that I was nitpicking, but when presenting a visual novel, which is after all largely about text, it doesn’t give the best impression if the introduction has typos. At least not to me. I hope and wish it will be the best it can be, therefore there was slight concern on my part.
Regardless of all that, I certainly look forward to this game. There aren’t enough yuri visual novels in our lives.
I wholeheartedly (did I write it correctly? I hope lol it’s a hard word for me) agree on the last line! 😉
It’s no problem to point out errors and typos, since typos clearly isn’t writer’s fault, when you ask someone “hey can you write me character intro for the blog?” and he does it in a few days. I should probably have checked it myself with a word processor that can easily do a spellcheck 🙂
I’m curious about your other yaoi game how is it coming along?
The art is all done, writing it’s a good point (more than half), but still missing the music and need to script it all. Depending how writing goes, could be out early next year 🙂